How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
