"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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