I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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