do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
