I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
