Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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