Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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