I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
