There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
