this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
She needs sedatives and a leash
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize