Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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