So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
