the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
