so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
