The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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