so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
