yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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