it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
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I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
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I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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