So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
