Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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