i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
