Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
