Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
