Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
this hospital has no fireball
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
