First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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