i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize