I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize