hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
