Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
