quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
