Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize
