Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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