It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
People in love make me want to vomit
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
