he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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