are you still at the devil's house?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
