Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
