May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
