So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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