I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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