You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
