How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
