Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
