i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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