things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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