i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
