Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
