I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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