new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I look better un-naked...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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