my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
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she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
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Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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