I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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