well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Pooping to opera.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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