great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
