I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
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He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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