Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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