my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
