masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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