please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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