If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
