I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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