you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
