he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize